Imagine this: the legendary writer Isaac Bashevis Singer has just won the Nobel Prize, and he's home, still basking in the excitement of the news. A reporter knocks at his door:

“Mr. Bashevis-Singer, are you surprised? Are you happy?”

“Of course,” he replies, “I am very surprised and happy.”

A few minutes later, another reporter arrives and asks, “Mr. Bashevis-Singer, are you surprised? Are you happy?”

And Singer, with his characteristic wit, responds, “How long can a man remain surprised and happy?”

This witty exchange captures something fundamental about human nature: we adapt quickly to even the most extraordinary events. This is known as habituation—a built-in mechanism in our nervous system that tones down our response to familiar things so we can focus our attention on something new. Habituation is why the thrill of a new car fades, why that favorite song eventually loses its impact, and why long-time partners might struggle to maintain excitement in a relationship. And as it turns out, habituation is central to tackling anxiety.

Habituation and Anxiety

Let’s say you’re terrified of elevators. The natural response might be to avoid them, opting for the stairs or avoiding tall buildings entirely. While this may offer some temporary relief, avoidance actually makes things worse over time. Here’s why: every time you avoid elevators, your nervous system never gets the chance to habituate to them. They stay frightening because they remain unfamiliar, keeping your anxiety intact and possibly even growing. Avoidance, though it feels helpful, traps you in a cycle where fear is never challenged, never lessened, and often amplified.

This is where exposure comes in. Exposure—intentionally confronting our fears—is based on the principle of habituation. It’s the process of facing that elevator (or spider, airplane, crowded room, etc.) repeatedly, despite the initial discomfort. With each exposure, the nervous system gradually adapts, eventually toning down its response. Like any worthy goal, the short-term discomfort of exposure is the investment for a long-term payoff—a life free from avoidance-driven anxiety.

How Exposure Works on Multiple Levels

1. Physiological Level: When you expose yourself to a feared situation, you allow the nervous system to habituate, which helps lessen the physiological anxiety response over time. Facing the fear helps to retrain your body not to overreact to familiar stimuli, diminishing the initial panic.

2. Psychological Level: Each time you confront your fear, you gain confidence. You accumulate evidence of your ability to cope, creating a powerful, positive shift in mindset (“If I did it once, I can do it again”). Facing fear turns perceived weakness into resilience and self-trust.

3. Behavioral Level: Repeated exposure develops mastery. Mastery reduces the likelihood of perceived failure, which in turn reduces anxiety. You begin to build a skillset for dealing with discomfort, making it easier to handle similar challenges in the future.

4. Emotional Level: Perhaps the most powerful benefit is this: exposure helps you become comfortable with the sensations of fear themselves. Often, anxiety is less about the object or situation and more about fearing the feeling of fear. Through exposure, you learn that the sensations of fear are not the end of the world—they are manageable and will pass. You build emotional literacy, a skill to help you navigate challenging emotions without becoming overwhelmed.

Living Beyond the Prison of Avoidance

Exposure isn’t easy. Confronting fear means diving into discomfort, but so is living in the prison of avoidance. While exposure asks you to push through discomfort temporarily, it grants long-term freedom from fear. Avoidance, on the other hand, may feel safe in the moment, but it ultimately locks you into a limited life.

The only way out of anxiety is through it. If elevators make you anxious, you’ll need to ride elevators. If speaking in public terrifies you, practice talking in class or at work. Confronting these fears, even in small steps, is how you reclaim your freedom from the power anxiety once held over you.

So, the next time you feel anxiety creeping in, consider taking a small, courageous step toward the source of that fear. In doing so, you’re not just challenging anxiety; you’re building a life where you can surprise yourself with your own resilience. And who knows? Maybe one day you’ll look back and, like Bashevis-Singer, find that the once-surprising fears now seem like just another part of life—unremarkable, familiar, and entirely manageable.