Why Embracing Your Anxiety Can Help You Heal

Whether you're dealing with OCD, social anxiety, a phobia, panic, or just general anxiety about life, it's natural to want to be free of those uncomfortable feelings. Many of my clients come to me after trying different methods—meditation, relaxation, yoga, various psychotherapies, and medications—only to find they still feel anxious. They often ask, “Why am I so anxious?” and “How do I get rid of this anxiety?”

My response might sound counterintuitive at first: “You need to allow yourself to be anxious, and you don’t need to know why you’re anxious.”

Moving Toward Your Anxiety Instead of Away

It may feel strange, but when you stop running from your anxiety and start allowing yourself to experience it fully, without trying to escape or rationalize your way out of it, something remarkable happens—those uncomfortable feelings and sensations begin to dissipate. Anxiety doesn’t stay at one level forever. It fluctuates, often influenced by your thoughts.

If you can accept that you're anxious, you're no longer fighting it. When you fight anxiety, you're telling yourself things like, “This is awful! I can’t handle this!” or “Something bad is going to happen.” And what happens next? You become even more anxious.

Why Avoidance Doesn’t Work

Many people try to manage their anxiety by avoiding situations they believe will trigger those feelings. Or, they engage in behaviors like ruminating or doing things to feel "safe." These strategies may work briefly, but the anxiety comes back—often stronger than before.

Instead, what if you stayed in the situation or sat with those distressing thoughts long enough to say, “It’s OK that I’m anxious”? The anxiety may start to fade on its own. You don’t need to do anything about it.

Take It a Step Further: Embrace the Anxiety

Here’s where the real shift happens: If you can challenge yourself to want to feel more anxious, you're making bold strides in conquering it. I know that this sounds difficult because everything in you is telling you to get rid of the anxiety. But the truth is, our brains are wired to respond to perceived threats by activating the fight-or-flight response, even when there’s no actual danger.

When you embrace your anxiety, you're retraining your brain to be less reactive to the false thoughts that trigger the fight-or-flight system. It’s not easy, but if you haven’t tried accepting your anxiety and even inviting it in, give it a shot. You might discover that by moving toward your anxiety instead of away from it, you’ll ultimately feel less anxious.