Do you doubt your ability to succeed, struggle to make decisions, or feel inferior to others? Are you overly critical of yourself? If so, you may be dealing with low self-esteem and low self-confidence. These internal struggles can hold you back from living a fulfilling life, affecting your relationships, career, and overall well-being.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem determines how much you value yourself and believe in your ability to succeed. If you feel comfortable being yourself around others, chances are you have high self-esteem. Strong self-esteem is linked to increased happiness, resilience, and better relationships.

The first step to building healthier self-esteem is recognizing the signs of low self-esteem and understanding how it impacts you.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

• Struggling to set boundaries

• Focusing on pleasing others

• Difficulty expressing different opinions

• Frequently criticizing yourself or others

• Trouble accepting compliments

• Regularly feeling like an impostor

• Having a hard time receiving feedback

• Feeling inferior to others despite objective evidence

If you recognize yourself in this list, it’s time to start building your self-esteem. The good news? You don’t have to do it alone. As a coach, I help people break through these patterns and develop the confidence to create lasting change.

How to Build Self-Esteem

1. Balance the Critical with Compassion

If your inner critic constantly tears you down, give it a name. It could be the name of someone who was overly critical of you, like a boss, teacher, or parent. When you catch this voice narrating your life, challenge it. Call it by its name and question its accuracy.

Then, bring to mind someone who has supported you. Imagine them responding to your inner critic—what would they say? Practicing this can help reframe negative thoughts and develop a healthier self-image.

2. Build Social Connections

• Volunteer. Engaging in acts of service can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

• Join a group or class. Whether it’s a local sports team, woodworking class, or hobby club, social connections can help you build self-worth while developing new skills.

• Check out community-based groups. Organizations like Men’s Sheds help connect men through shared projects and activities, offering support and camaraderie.

3. Take Care of Your Physical Health

How you treat your body directly affects how you feel about yourself. People with high self-esteem typically prioritize:

• Eating nutritious foods

• Exercising regularly

• Getting enough sleep

Additionally, alcohol can numb emotions and disconnect you from your experiences. Experimenting with sobriety, even temporarily, can provide clarity and increase self-awareness.

4. Set SMART Goals

Setting achievable goals helps build confidence. Use the SMART framework:

• Specific: Define exactly what you want to accomplish.

• Measurable: Track your progress with clear milestones.

• Attainable: Set realistic goals based on your skills and resources.

• Relevant: Ensure your goal aligns with what truly matters to you.

• Timely: Set a deadline to stay motivated.

For example, instead of saying, “I want to get in shape,” make it SMART: “I will run for 10 minutes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 7 AM for the next four weeks.” Tracking your progress and celebrating small wins builds confidence and reinforces self-worth.

5. Engage in a New Hobby or Skill

Exploring creative hobbies like writing, sculpting, painting, or playing music helps build confidence by challenging you in new ways. Consider taking a workshop, joining a club, or learning a new language. Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-respect.

How Does Low Self-Esteem Develop?

Low self-esteem often stems from experiences like:

• Criticism, neglect, or abuse in childhood

• Bullying or repeated failures

• Chronic depression or anxiety

Because self-esteem is influenced by external factors, it naturally fluctuates. If you’re surrounded by supportive, caring people and doing work you enjoy, your self-esteem is likely to be higher. Conversely, toxic relationships and unfulfilling work environments can take a toll on how you see yourself.

The Path to Building Self-Worth

Although self-esteem is shaped by external experiences, you have control over what and who you surround yourself with. Choosing to set healthy boundaries, surround yourself with positive influences, and challenge negative self-perceptions can significantly improve your self-esteem.

Some people fear that building self-esteem will make them arrogant or self-absorbed. In reality, true confidence allows you to admit mistakes, express vulnerability, and grow. People who appear overly confident but struggle to acknowledge their flaws may actually be masking low self-esteem with defensiveness.

By setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and taking action toward your goals, you create space for confidence to grow naturally. Building self-esteem isn’t about inflating your ego—it’s about learning to respect yourself, embrace challenges, and show up as the best version of yourself.

If you’re ready to break free from self-doubt and start building true confidence, I’m here to help. Through personalized coaching, we’ll work together to reframe negative beliefs, set meaningful goals, and develop the skills you need to thrive. Book a free consultation with me today, and let’s take the first step toward lasting self-worth.