How to Find Motivation When You’re Depressed

One of the most frustrating things about depression is knowing what would probably help and still not feeling able to do it.

You know getting out of the house would be better than staying in bed all afternoon.

You know you're going to feel worse if you keep putting everything off.

None of that necessarily makes you want to move.

That's where people can get stuck waiting for motivation.

They tell themselves they'll start exercising when they have more energy. They'll deal with everything they've been avoiding once they feel more like themselves.

But depression can make motivation less likely to show up precisely because you've stopped doing many of the things that used to create energy or give your day some structure.

Sometimes you have to stop waiting for motivation and give it something to follow.

Why Does Depression Make It So Hard to Get Motivated?

Depression can change your relationship with effort.

Things that normally wouldn't seem particularly difficult start feeling enormous.

Answering an email feels like work.

Going to the gym feels impossible.

Even deciding what to do can become exhausting.

Then there's another problem.

When you repeatedly don't follow through, you may start judging yourself for it.

Why can't I just do this?

Now you're dealing with the original lack of motivation and feeling bad about yourself for being unmotivated.

That usually doesn't make getting started any easier.

Instead of treating the lack of motivation like a character flaw, it helps to understand the pattern surrounding it.

What have you stopped doing?

What are you waiting to feel before you start again?

Those questions give you somewhere to work.

Stop Waiting to Feel Like Doing It

This is probably the biggest shift.

You don't have to want to do something before you do it.

We already accept this in plenty of other areas of life.

You don't always feel like going to work.

You probably don't feel motivated every time you take out the garbage.

But when you're depressed, it can start to feel as though motivation is a prerequisite for almost everything.

I'll go when I feel up to it.

The problem is that “up to it” may not arrive on its own.

Try separating the decision from the feeling.

Instead of asking:

Do I feel like going for a walk?

Ask:

Did I decide that I'm going for a walk today?

You can answer no to the first question and yes to the second.

Make the Starting Point Smaller

Sometimes people understand that they need to take action and then make the action far too big.

They haven't exercised in four months, so the plan becomes going to the gym five days a week.

Their apartment is a disaster, so they decide they're cleaning the entire thing Saturday.

Then they don't do it.

That becomes more evidence that they can't get themselves moving.

Make the starting point smaller than your ambition.

If you've barely been leaving the house, don't worry about creating the perfect exercise routine yet.

Walk around the block.

If you're overwhelmed by everything you've fallen behind on, choose one thing you can finish.

You're trying to get movement started.

You can increase the difficulty once you're actually moving.

Look at What You Did Before Depression Took Over

This is something I find particularly useful.

Think about your behavior before you became depressed or before things got significantly worse.

What disappeared?

Maybe you used to exercise in the morning.

Maybe you saw your friends every weekend.

Maybe you cooked instead of ordering food and spending the rest of the evening on the couch.

You don't have to recreate your old life all at once.

Pick something that used to be normal and begin putting it back.

This can be more useful than asking yourself what new habit you should create.

Often, you already know what some of the missing pieces are.

Depression gradually removed them.

Don't Confuse Avoidance With Lack of Motivation

This is an important distinction because sometimes the problem isn't actually motivation.

Let's say you keep telling yourself you're not motivated to apply for jobs.

Look closer.

Would you apply if you knew you were going to get the job?

If the answer is yes, lack of motivation may not be the whole story.

You might be avoiding the possibility of rejection.

The same thing happens socially.

Someone says they aren't motivated to date, but what they're really dreading is feeling awkward or being rejected.

If anxiety is underneath the inactivity, trying to manufacture more motivation may not solve much.

You may need to work on doing something you're afraid to do.

Ask yourself:

If this felt completely safe, would I still have trouble getting started?

The answer isn't always obvious, but the question can help separate low drive from avoidance.

Give Your Day Somewhere to Start

Depression can make an unstructured day disappear surprisingly quickly.

You wake up without a plan.

You spend a little time on your phone.

Suddenly it's afternoon and you haven't done anything you intended to do.

Then you feel worse about the day, which makes doing something with the rest of it even harder.

You don't need a minute-by-minute schedule.

Give yourself an anchor.

Maybe you leave the house by 10:00.

Maybe you exercise after breakfast.

Maybe you work on the thing you've been avoiding before you turn on the TV.

The specific routine matters less than having something that gets the day moving without requiring a new decision every time.

Pay Attention to What Happens After You Follow Through

People who are depressed can be very good at dismissing their own progress.

You finally do something you've been putting off and immediately think:

I should have done that a week ago.

You go to the gym and think:

That wasn't even a good workout.

That's not a great way to reinforce a behavior you're trying to rebuild.

Notice that you followed through.

This doesn't require giving yourself a motivational speech.

Just be accurate.

You didn't want to go, and you went.

You'd been avoiding the task, and you finished it.

That's useful information.

It tells you that feeling unmotivated didn't actually make the behavior impossible.

Don't Use One Bad Day as Evidence That You're Back at the Beginning

Progress with depression rarely looks perfectly consistent.

You may have several productive days and then spend most of Saturday doing nothing.

That doesn't erase the previous days.

One of the easiest ways to lose momentum is to interpret every setback as proof that nothing is changing.

Instead, look at the pattern over a longer period.

Are you leaving the house more than you were a month ago?

Are you following through more often?

That's a much better measure than whether you handled today perfectly.

Motivation Often Shows Up After You Begin

You may notice something once you start doing more.

The walk you didn't want to take feels a little easier after ten minutes.

Seeing your friend turns out to be better than staying home.

Finishing one task makes starting the next one less intimidating.

That doesn't mean action always creates an immediate improvement in mood.

Sometimes you do the thing and still feel depressed.

That's important to acknowledge.

The value is that you're no longer requiring your mood to change before your behavior can change.

Over time, that gives you more opportunities for your life to become reinforcing again.

Know When This Is Bigger Than Motivation

Severe depression isn't a productivity problem.

If you're struggling to function, your depression is persistent, or your symptoms are getting worse, working with a qualified mental health professional is important.

Therapy can address depression directly. Medication may also be appropriate for some people and should be discussed with a qualified medical professional.

If you're having thoughts of suicide or believe you may hurt yourself, seek immediate crisis or emergency support.

The point of working on motivation isn't to suggest that you should be able to force yourself out of depression.

It's to work on one part of the cycle that you may actually have some influence over.

Start Before You Feel Ready

You don't need to rebuild your entire life today.

Look for one thing depression has pushed out.

Choose a realistic version of it.

Then do it without requiring yourself to feel motivated first.

You may still feel flat afterward.

You may wish you wanted to do it more.

That's okay.

The first goal isn't to become incredibly motivated.

It's to stop making motivation the price of admission for taking action.